I Can Do Hard Things

Ogden Marathon

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Location:

American Fork,UT,

Member Since:

Nov 27, 2009

Gender:

Female

Goal Type:

Boston Qualifier

Running Accomplishments:

St George Marathon

2011 - 4:11:52 

2017. -4:01:17

2021 - 4:03:05

Salt Lake City Full Marathon

2013 -  4:23:03 

Ogden Marathon

2012 - 3:58:35

2013 - 4:17:20

2014 - 4:02:51

2017 - 3:55:22**

2023 - 3:57:09

Utah Valley Marathon

2019 - 4:05:37 

Top of Utah Marathon

2014 - 4:09:27

Mt Charleston Marathon

2019 - 4:05:33

West Mountain Marathon

2015 - 4:42:34

 

St George Half Marathon

2012 - 1:55:00

2013 - 2:03:00

2014 - 1:46:00

2015 - 1:48:00

2022-  1:42:45**

Salt Lake City Half Marathon

2012 - 1:51:00

2014 - 1:44:01

Hobble Creek Half Marathon

2001 - 1:40:00**

2011 - 1:45:00

2012 - 1:43:00

2013 - 1:43:00 

2022 - 1:48:53

American Fork Half Marathon

2013 - 1:48:24

2014- 1:53:23 (pacing Tim)

2017  - 1:47:54

2018 - 1:48:12

2019 - 1:47:50

Timp Half Marathon

2012 - 1:47:18 

2022 - 1:49:40 (AF Cancer course)

Utah Valley Half Marathon 

2011 - 1:55:00 

Top of Utah Half Marathon

2010 - 1:48:20 

The Haunted Half Provo

2018 - 1:51:28

 

Goblin Valley 50K

2014 - 5:58

Red Mountain 55K

2018 - 7:31:37

Antelope Island Fall Classic 50K

2017 - 6:14:23

Antelope Island 50 Mile

2015 - 10:10:00

Antelope Island 100 Mile

2018 - 26:53

 

 

**Personal Best 

 

 

Short-Term Running Goals:

 

 

Long-Term Running Goals:

To qualify for Boston

Personal:

Married for 23 years. I have 18 year old triplets and a 15 year old. I love to sew, garden, and run!

Favorite Running Quotes: 

1.  

"Sooner or later the serious runner goes through a special, very personal experience that is unknown to most people.

Some call it euphoria. Others say it's a new kind of mystical experience that propels you into a elevated state of consciousness, a flash of joy.

A sense of floating as you run. This experience is unique to each of us, but when it happens, you break through a barrier that separates you from casual runners. Forever. And from that point on, there is no finish line. You run for your life. You begin to be addicted to what running gives you."  

~Nike Poster

2.           A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Lao-Tzu

You’ve no doubt heard this.  And you’ve probably recited it in your mind on a run or at the gym when you’re just beginning to get in shape.  You have a goal in sight and this quote brings you back to the current moment.

 

But the problem is that many runners forget all of the steps between the first one and the goal.  If your goal is to run under two hours for the half marathon then you need to be honest about all of the little steps to get to that goal.

 

…and what I’d rather see you do is to get the goal out of mind completely, but rather focus on the process, not the outcome. -Jay Johnson Process orientation, not outcome orientation.

 

You should have goals, but you should take it one step at a time.  And you should be honest about the fact that you don’t know how many steps it will take to get there. ~ Vernon Gambetta

 

3.  Human beings are made up of flesh, blood and a miracle fiber called COURAGE! ~ George Patton 

 

4.   Find the courage to be patient.

Favorite Blogs:

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Miles:This week: 22.33 Month: 127.28 Year: 374.00
2014 - Minutes Lifetime Miles: 28605.00
Race: Ogden Marathon (26.2 Miles) 04:02:51, Place overall: 853, Place in age division: 97
Slow milesFast milesTotal Distance
0.0026.2026.20

The Dream that Wasn’t – Ogden Marathon 2014 Recap
 
“I've missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I've lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I've been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I've failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.” ~ Michael Jordan
 
 
Once again, I am reminded that 26.2 miles deserves the utmost respect.  It is a long time to be on the road and anything can happen. 
 
I’ve never had such pre-race anxiety before.  I usually never set a specific marathon time goal or set such high expectations before.  I’ve never been so publicly open about my goals.  Though I am full of craziness, I knew I had done my work and felt like my training was going to manifest itself with a BQ.
 
I headed up to Ogden on Friday afternoon to the expo.  It is hard to explain the excitement of runners and spectators at an expo/starting line/finish line, but it is magical.  The energy can actually be felt and I started to get really excited.  I grabbed my packet and then headed up Ogden Canyon to drive the last half of the course.  Though I have already run the course twice, I wanted to refresh my memory.
 
 
 
After my drive up and down memory lane, I check into my hotel, and then headed off to meet Rachel and friends for dinner.  Rachel is a super star runner who has helped a lot of people met their running goals by being a race pacer. Though she wasn’t an “official” pacer for this race, she offered to pace me to a 3:40 marathon.  I was beyond grateful!  We had a yummy dinner at our favorite pizza place and headed off to our different destinations for the night.
 
Unfortunately, I did not sleep at all Friday night and hopped right out of bed at 3:50am.  We met friends at the busses and took the long bus ride to the starting line.  Though it was cold at the start staging area, it wasn’t cold enough.  This meant for a hot morning.  After waiting for an hour and a half, we finally shed our warm-ups and headed to the start. 
 
I’ve never been this close to the starting line and felt a bit out of place.  The national anthem was sung and the gun went off. 
 
Though I had time splits written on my arm, I didn’t look at my watch.  I let Rachel keep track of all that.  My legs were not feeling super fresh even though I took a three-week taper.  Four weeks before the race, I ran 53 miles, which was the most amount of miles I’ve ever run.  I felt full of niggles and knew I needed that recovery period.
 
Around mile 8, it felt like someone took a gas pump full of lead and started pumping it into my legs.  My breathing started to get labored and all the wheels started to fall off.  I kept thinking to myself, “I run more than 8 miles everyday, what is going on? I still have 18 more miles to go.”
 
Rachel kept looking back and telling me everything was all right.  We eventually made it to the halfway mark and I knew I was in trouble.  I kept saying to myself I could turn things around and I could BQ.  But more and more lead was being pumped into my legs and my heart rate kept getting faster.  I was on top of my nutrition and water and was taking salt pills because of the heat, so why couldn’t my legs cooperate?
 
We finally made it to mile 17/18 where the elevation drops significantly down the canyon.  Usually, this is where I can pick up speed and really start to feel good. Not today. My buddy Bradley came up behind us.  He knew my goals and knew I should be way further along.  I gave a weak smile and said, “I don’t want to talk about it”.  No judgment was made and he ran with Rachel and I for several miles. 
 
I finally got to the point of just looking at the yellow line on the road.  Left foot….right foot….left foot….right foot.  I zoned out. My legs were so heavy that I felt like the bad guy in the cartoon “The Incredibles” with his giant robot legs. 
 
I saw the 3:45 pacer go by and took a major mental blow.  I kept thinking of all the encouragement and kinds words people have said to me the past few days. “Come on Toby…NOW...NOW is the time to go”  “Come on Toby…you’ve been working on this for 365 days…are you really going to let it slip away?”  I would push that gas pedal to the floor but remained at a stand still.  A few miles later, the 4:00 hour pacer passed me and I mentally lost it. I had only come up with one plan for this race – to run a 3:40 or less.  There was no plan B.  Or C. Or D. Now my only goal was to finish.
 
Rachel kept saying and doing all the right things but I just could not respond. We finally got out of the canyon and I knew Tim and the kids were going to be around mile 23.  Rachel said to look strong to make my family proud.  But as soon as I got through the tunnel and saw them, I lost it.  I stopped to give each one of them a hug and sobbed.  Tears streaming down my face.  I felt as though I disappointed them while I shuffled by.  By this point in the race, all of the facades and walls that I had up were replaced with very raw emotion.
 
Rachel jokingly said I needed to stop crying because it took much energy. Shortly thereafter, I saw my dear training partner Kellie.  Ohhhh….what a ray of sunshine on a very dark day!
 
We finally hit mile 25 and turned onto the final stretch of the race.  That last mile took so long to run.  I could see the finish line and it never got any closer.  I was so afraid my legs were going collapse.  Finally….finally, I stepped over the timing mats.  I was so disappointed.  I felt like I had failed.  I felt like had let so many people down.  I was in a world of hurt physically and mentally. 
 
My sweet family was standing right off the finishing area and it was nice to have a change of scenery.  We planned a place to meet once I got out of the shoot.  I asked Rachel what I did wrong?  She said “Nothing.  I can do all the right training and preparing and some days it doesn’t work out.”  I am so grateful she is my friend and saw me through a very difficult day.
 



I grabbed some treats in the finish area and met Tim and kids.  I started to cry once again…so very disappointed I didn’t hit my goal after so much work.  I felt silly for sharing my hopes and dreams for the whole world to see and know I would have to face everyone with empty hands.    

 

 

 
 
 
 
I recently read “The Mental Aspects of Running” by Sasha Pachev.  I loved this paragraph.
 
“Jenny Spangler runs a 2:43 to qualify for the '96 Trials and she is in tears afterwards, and those are not tears of joy, she is disappointed because deep down she knows she is not a 2:43 girl. She enters the Trials with a B qualifier, nobody considers her a factor. She runs away from the field early on, they ignore her thinking she is a rabbit seeking some TV time, cannot keep the pace, and will come back. She does not come back winning with a 2:29. Had she not known deep down she was a 2:29 girl she would not have been in tears over 2:43. Had she not been in tears over 2:43 she would not have run 2:29.”
 
So now that it is over and I can look back…I need to run more miles in the heat. More strength training.  More experience.  More mental toughness.  I had more demons today than dreams.  I totally fell short of my goal and there is no one or thing to blame but myself.  But I still have a BQ in me somewhere.  Maybe not today or tomorrow or marathon #6 or #7….but someday.
 
Time to recover, move on and come up with a new plan.  Failures lead to successes.
 
Chasing dreams and conquering demons 2015
 
(Thank you dear family, friends, and strangers for ALL your kind words.  My phone, email, Facebook, and Instagram blew up this weekend with kindness.  I thought about each of you while I was shuffling down the streets of Ogden. Thank you…thank you!)

2014 - Minutes Miles: 242.00
Weight: 0.00
Comments
From allie on Sun, May 18, 2014 at 21:29:26 from 174.23.149.245

toby -- i'm sorry it didn't go as planned yesterday. i know it's tough because you have to invest SO MUCH, and sometimes the marathon doesn't give back. but eventually it will, and in a big way. you gained a lot of experience and strength through this whole training process. that stays with you forever and you build on that. it's really tough when the outcome is not what you want, but it's another step up on the staircase to your big goal. you will get there. i really enjoyed your report -- great reflection. i love your determined attitude moving forward.

congratulations on pushing through and holding strong in spite of the challenges you faced. proud of you.

From fiddy on Sun, May 18, 2014 at 21:31:10 from 174.23.149.245

You're right that you are capable of better, probably a sub 3:30. I always like to run through all the things that could happen before a race, just because mentally it's hard to deal with as it's happening.

From josse on Sun, May 18, 2014 at 22:03:55 from 71.199.39.138

My dear sweet Toby it took me several tries to qualify. Marathon rarely go our way, there are so many things that are out of our control, weather is a huge factor to having a good race. I think that was your biggest roadblock. Recover and train on I believe you have it in you. It is very frustrating to feel it so early on but you made it and this too will have lesson learned.

From Rachelle on Mon, May 19, 2014 at 12:36:08 from 159.212.71.77

Thank you so much for being so candid and honest Toby. It is difficult to be raw and vulnerable, but we grow so much from these experiences once we're able to take a step back and evaluate. I wholeheartedly believe you are capable of your goal. Don't ever give up on what you want. Marathons are so tricky and so many things have to come together flawlessly. Stay positive, keep putting in the work and you will get the results you want.

From Kelli on Tue, May 20, 2014 at 09:56:29 from 67.172.235.55

OH, TOBY! I am crying reading this, I could feel it all as I read that report. Running can be so rewarding and so demoralizing, just depends on the day we are handed. Rachel nailed it----you didn't do a thing wrong. You did everything right and you worked your butt off. That BQ will come, do not give up (I know you, I know you won't). You are a hard working runner and you have it in you.

I can not figure why it was such a bad day for so many. A few people had stellar races (course record broken for crying out loud), but the majority of people just were not feeling it Saturday for some reason. Full moon or something???

From Toby on Tue, May 20, 2014 at 20:20:50 from 74.81.235.5

Thank you all for the very kinds words! You are all elite runners and comments coming for you are much appreciated.

Now I need to figure out plan B.

These are my thoughts and I would appreciate any feedback - no sugar coating!!

1. Run Utah Valley Marathon. I'm trained and could get 2 solid weeks of more training (BUT what kind of training would I do during those 2 weeks??). I don't have to register until June 10, so if the weather is predicting hot, I won't do it.

2. Run Big Cottonwood. I can have a few more down weeks and then ramp my mileage back up. The BC course makes me a bit nervous and the "waiting" might drive me crazy.

I would appreciate any and ALL advice - no sugar coating!!

Thanks y'all!

From Kelli on Tue, May 20, 2014 at 20:25:47 from 67.172.235.55

If you feel like you will be recovered in time for UV, I say go for it! Your training is already there, you just need those two weeks to recover, not train more (if you think that will be enough---only you know). They will have pacers, too.

Big Cottonwood chews you up on those steep downhills and then spits you out! I have not heard great things about that marathon aside from its beauty. BUT, if you feel like you would benefit from a longer recovery, this is definitely the better option! Not sure on the pacers for this one. ?? I know Walter paces the half, not sure on the full.

From Toby on Tue, May 20, 2014 at 20:53:22 from 74.81.235.5

Thanks for the input Kelli! I ski Brighton a lot in the winter and I see how that canyon can chew you up and you still have 11 miles to go!

Have you done TOU? How are those hills at the finish?

From allie on Tue, May 20, 2014 at 22:18:02 from 172.56.9.54

UV is not a bad idea, but the recovery time will be tight. i do think there's enough time...just make sure you are feeling truly recovered and don't force the training if you feel your body is resisting. if TOU is a possibility later this summer, i would definitely choose that one over big cottonwood. BC is incredibly steep and it can really beat you up. TOU is a very gentle grade, and, despite what a lot of people say about the "hilliness" at the end, it really is not bad if you are prepared for it. embrace it. :) another bonus is the TOU half a few weeks before...a perfectly timed workout and a chance to get a feel for the course.

From Kelli on Wed, May 21, 2014 at 07:57:15 from 205.122.135.130

I think TOU is a better course than Ogden. It was my first marathon and i ran it one other time pacing a friend. The only thing I do not like about the end is that I feel like I you wind in a spiral to get to the finish line. But honestly, the end of a marathon is never great no matter which marathon you pick! I think it is a n absolutely beautiful course and more forgiving on the legs than UV. UV is on concrete--ouch!

I think you just need to look at how your legs are feeling and decide if they are going to be fresh enough for another marathon in 2 and a half weeks. And also decide if you want to continue with your marathon training for the summer to get you to TOU or BC.

TOU half is one of my favorites, so ditto what Allie said about that one.

From Rachelle on Wed, May 21, 2014 at 09:32:34 from 159.212.71.69

I'll throw in my 2 cents here. Since UVM is a week later than normal this year it actually gives you almost a full month in between. May 17th - June 14th. I think if you feel okay you should absolutely go for it. You already have the fitness and the workouts are in your legs. Assuming you feel recovered by next week you could put in a solid two weeks of training.

Definitely TOU over BC. I haven't ran BC but I wouldn't because I don't want a stress fracture! TOU is nice because you generally don't ever have to worry about heat and the course is gradual. Also like Allie said the last 8 really aren't as bad as everyone makes them out to be.

From Toby on Wed, May 21, 2014 at 12:06:51 from 74.81.235.5

Ladies....this is all superb advice! Thank you for responding! I think my big deciding factor for UVM will be the weather and how I feel in a few more days.

Who knew running and racing could be so complicated!!!

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