Hubby is home, but I decided to sleep in today and run during preschool. It was much warmer than I had anticipated, but enjoyed the sunshine. Vitamin D always does the body good!
9:35, 9:13, 9:10, 8:56, 8:16, 4:06
I felt just ok on this run. I've been thinking a lot about the Ogden Marathon next weekend. I was having a bit of a mental breakdown on the run today.
I feel good about my training...I've been smart. I've built my mileage slowly and started to add some speed work (I don't think I would have done anything differently, but I still have a long ways to go). No injuries. But I don't think I'm any faster or stronger than St George.
Here comes the mental breakdown part. I saw several women out running today. None were overweight but not super fit and trim. They had less than perfect form. Just plugging along. AND it hit me....I was looking at myself. I look just like they did.
For the longest time (this is before having kids and 2 years ago when I started back running), I thought I knew everything about running. I was thin and "fit". I was fast. I could do it all.
But I can't. Some days I struggle to just stay afloat with life. And I'm not sure I'll every be a really great runner. Maybe I'm just realizing what my running ability is and I need to adjust my goals and expectations. Qualifying for Boston may never happen. I may just always fit in that "average" category. Maybe I need to just accept that.
All of this garbage was floating through my head during the run. Isn't that why we run.....to get out all the garbage?
SOOOOOO.....I don't really have a goal for Ogden. This will only be my second marathon, so it is hard to judge where my fitness level is. I feel like my confidence is slipping away by the minute. Sorry for the sad post....sometimes writing things out helps me sort through issues.
I came home and worked in my garden all afternoon. I got my hanging baskets for my front porch so we can have our annual "Mother's Day Picture". Flowers always make me feel better.
C'est la vie.